Save Me Chapter 18
Ruby
Ember and I spend Saturday in our pajamas. Mum and Dad are at friends' house, and we take advantage of the fact that we can take over the kitchen and bake chocolate chip cookies. We are just making sure that the mixing bowl is really empty when the doorbell rings. Ember and I both startle and stare at each other. Then I tap my nose rapidly with my finger. Ember groans in frustration as she realizes her defeat and trudges toward the hallway.
A little later, I hear a confident, familiar voice. "Hi, are you Ember? I'm Lin. Where's your sister? I urgently need to talk to her!"
Before I even have time to blink, Lin is standing in front of me, holding her phone out to me. "Don't tell me this is really you."
For a moment, I can only stare at her. It's the first time Lin has been to my house. Previously, she only picked me up a few times and always waited in the car on the street. Her presence should make me nervous. After all, she goes to Maxton Hall and is thus a part of my life that I want to keep away from my family at all costs. But the longer I see her standing in our kitchen, the clearer it becomes to me that the opposite is true. I’m glad she came. Our recent argument made it clear to me that we're not just school friends, but could be more. Maybe it's time I dare to open up a little.
I intentionally put the dough scraper in my mouth again to avoid having to answer. Unimpressed, Lin takes a few steps closer until she is right in front of me, holding the phone so close to my nose that I have to lean back to see anything in the dark photo.
It shows James from behind, carrying someone who has their arms tightly wrapped around his neck and their face buried in his shoulder. You can't tell that the person is me, but nevertheless, my cheeks heat up. I wonder how many pictures of this moment exist. And who has already seen them.
"Ruby?" Lin asks, her tone suddenly much less assertive. "What happened yesterday?"
"I was at Cyril's party," I finally say. "I told you about that."
"Yes, you did. What I want to know is what happened here."
"What happened where?" Ember asks, snatching the phone from Lin's hand. Her mouth drops open as she stares at the photo. "Is that really you?"
"Yes," I admit, swallowing hard. This day with Ember was supposed to distract me. I wanted to push away thoughts of last night and stop my head from spinning. What happened yesterday... I don’t even know what it was. Let alone how to put it into words or deal with it.
"Tell me right now what happened yesterday," demands my sister in her no-argument tone, which she clearly inherited from Mum.
I bend down to check on the cookies in the oven. Unfortunately, they're not ready yet and can't save me from Lin and Ember's questioning looks. I sigh quietly, drop the dough scraper back into the bowl, and nod toward the dining room. After we sit down, I begin to explain.
At the end of my story, the two of them look at me with completely different expressions. Lin is mostly skeptical. Ember, on the other hand, has her chin propped on one hand and is smiling at me dreamily.
"That Beaufort guy seems really nice," she sighs.
"He’s not!" Lin exclaims incredulously. "The guy you just talked about—that couldn't possibly have been James Beaufort."
I just shrug. In hindsight, it also feels unreal to me that he actually went so far as to defend me in front of his friends, but... he did. Even more than that. He took care of me. Dressed me and behaved like a gentleman. He held my hand when I told him about the situation with Dad.
Last night changed things between us. I can feel it clearly. A tingle runs through my entire body when I think about his gaze and how his fingers brushed my bare skin. How my body shivered slightly with heat and James thought I was still cold—when in fact the opposite was true. How he touched me as if I were made of thin, fragile glass.
"That's exactly what I meant when I told you to be careful," says Lin, shaking her head and bringing me back to the present.
"I know," I murmur. I wish I could forget how it felt when I went under the water.
"I can't believe Cyril actually did that," she continues. "When I see him, I'm going to wring his neck."
She looks so stunned and disappointed that I once again wonder if Cyril is more than just a classmate to her. If there is a story between them, and if so, what exactly happened. So far, she has always clammed up when we talked about her love life. Maybe now is the right time to try again cautiously—after all, I just opened up to her.
But Ember interrupts my thoughts with her next words. "Thank goodness James was there." Her eyes look like they're about to turn into little red hearts. "I can't believe he actually carried you from the party. In his arms!"
Me neither. Especially when I think about how cold and arrogant he was towards me at first. I just can’t reconcile that version of him with the James who wrapped me in countless towels yesterday and stroked my back until I stopped shivering. The James who caused chaos in my thoughts and haunted me in my dreams last night, where his warm hands were on my bare skin.
Not good. Not good. Not. Good.
"If I didn't have the photo as proof, I wouldn't believe it," says Lin, staring at the picture again. "How can a guy who constantly behaves so badly suddenly act like a knight?"
"He probably realized that Cyril crossed a line with Ruby and stepped in. That shows he has a good core," Ember notes. She looks at me, and suddenly something changes in her face. "Uh oh."
Lin looks up. "What?" When her gaze falls on me, she groans. "Ruby!"
Apparently, my emotional turmoil is written all over my face. "I don't know either, okay?" I say. "I can't stand him, but..." I trail off and shrug helplessly.
Ember looks like she wants to say something else for a moment, but then she suddenly stands up. "Let's check on the cookies."
The three of us go into the kitchen, which now smells delicious. While Ember and I take the cookies out of the oven, Lin arranges them symmetrically on a large plate. As we finally head into the living room with them, she suddenly elbows me in the side. "It's okay to be attracted to someone you actually find annoying."
I’d love to ask her if she’s speaking from experience. But when it comes to her love life, Lin is so secretive that I don’t dare to ask and instead just say, “Do you think so?”
She nods.
My thoughts drift back to James on their own. My hand starts to tingle where he touched me, and when I remember how he undressed in front of me, a warm feeling rises in my stomach.
“Although I still can’t really believe it. Of all people, Beaufort. The damn king of the school,” murmurs Lin as she flops onto the sofa.
“I don’t know how it happened either,” I reply and reach for one of the cookies. It’s actually still way too hot, but I take a huge bite anyway to avoid saying anything more.
“If he really took such good care of you, he has my blessing,” Ember concedes, grabbing a cookie as well. She then crosses her legs on the coffee table. “So, what are you going to do now? Have you talked since yesterday?”
I shake my head. “I just wanted to spend a nice day with my sister today.”
Ember sits up like a meerkat. “You have to get in touch with him!”
Shaking my head, I look back and forth between her and Lin. “Guys, there’s nothing. We’re just... friends.” It feels strange to call James a “friend,” but I can’t think of a better word at the moment.
“Sure. Text him now,” Lin demands as well, and I sigh, pulling my phone from my pocket.
I briefly consider what to write, but I decide to go with the obvious.
Thanks. – R.J.B.
After sending the message, I stuff the phone into the couch crevice to avoid looking at it.
“What did you write to him?” Ember asks.
“I just thanked him.”
Lin wrinkles her nose and finally grabs a cookie. She breaks it into four pieces and takes one. It’s rare for Lin to indulge in something sweet. She strictly watches her diet and forbids herself almost everything delicious. I think it’s a shame but haven’t been able to convince her that life is much more fun with chocolate.
My phone vibrates. It takes all my willpower not to grab it too quickly. I’d be embarrassed in front of Lin and Ember to seem so eager.
Luckily, they can’t hear how hard my heart is pounding as I finally unlock the screen and read the message.
You never told me what the J stands for. – J.M.B.
I reply immediately.
Guess. – R.J.B.
James. – J.M.B.
That’s pretty egocentric, don’t you think? – R.J.B.
Jenna. – J.M.B.
Nope. – R.J.B.
Jemima. – J.M.B.
I’m kind of impressed you only needed three tries. – R.J.B.
For a while, he doesn’t respond. I stare at the dark screen, aware of Ember and Lin’s expectant looks. I don’t even know what exactly I’m waiting for until my phone vibrates again after a few more minutes.
Feeling better?
No initials. No jokes. My throat suddenly feels dry. I don’t want to think about yesterday, don’t want to think about the water or the fact that I embarrassed myself in front of a good portion of my classmates because I was totally hysterical. Above all, I don’t want to think about Monday and what might be in store for me.
I’m scared of Monday. There are photos of us.
Lin and Ember start talking about something that has nothing to do with James or the party yesterday, and Ember turns on the TV. She gets a DVD from the cabinet and puts it in.
I’m grateful they’re giving me a bit of privacy, especially as I read James’ next text.
Don’t worry. You can only see my wet back in the picture.
I hold my breath. Is the message meant as it is, or is it an indirect flirt? I have no clue. I just know I want to stay on equal footing with him.
At least in that regard, I can be grateful for the photo.
I have to wait a long time for his next reply. So long that I already regret typing the words. We’re halfway through the movie when my phone vibrates again.
Ruby Bell, could it be that you’re trying to flirt with me?
A smile spreads across my lips. I hide it in the collar of my pajama top. Then I turn off my phone and focus all my attention on the movie.
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